Steam Project
by leogirl
Summary: Yes, this is what I write, when I get overly serious and need to let out some steam. Beware of my stupidity. Enjoy!


A/N: I don't usually write these fics, but I needed to let off some serious steam so here goes.   
  
Harry: I'm Harry Potter! _polyjuice potions wears of and becomes Ginny._   
  
Ginny: AAAARRGGHHH!!!!!!   
  
Hermione: Oh dear, I read about this in a book. In a situation like this, you should either become Voldemort or make like a suicidal teenager....Now on page 984, paragraph 7 it suggested...   
  
Ginny: _chooses option 2 to escape Hermione_   
  
Hermione: I should be a shrink!!!!   
  
Harry: This is the part where you walk away and leave us alone, Hermione.   
  
Hermione: _walks away happily_   
  
Ron: Yeah! She's gone! Let's have a celebration and let me ignore the fact that I secretly like Hermione and have not discovered my feelings for her yet. Or we could do that after I mourn over Ginny. Wait, I already did that in CoS, never mind! I guess now I'll ignore my feelings for Hermione..._ignoring... _First, being stupid as I am, I shall forget that she ever kissed me in Ootp!   
  
Harry and Malfoy: SPOILER!!!   
  
Ron: oops... he he, silly me! Let's celebrate now!   
  
Hermione: _comes back_   
  
Malfoy: _screams and hides behind Harry's Firebolt_ Actually, I'm not the least bit scared of Hermione but am just doing Alfonso Cuaron's bidding cause he wanted me to be cowardly.   
  
Hermione: I just remembered there wasn't a part in Ootp where I walk away happily and leave you guys alone.   
  
Ron:....Yes there was   
  
Hermione: WHAT?! YOU MEAN I OVER-READ IT? _dies and joins Ginny_   
  
_Screams can be heard from The Gates...._   
  
Ron: _looks up in awe._   
  
Malfoy: _looks up in awe._   
  
Harry: GRRR! YOU TOUCHED MY FIREBOLT! YOU'RE DEAD, MALFOY! _starts chasing him and wacks at him with Firebolt_   
  
Malfoy: WAIT! I thought you didn't want me to touch your Firebolt!   
  
Harry: Oh, right _starts chasing with Malfoy's Nimbus Two-ThousandOne._   
  
Malfoy: AAAAGHH! HARRY, YOU'RE NOT A MAD HOUSEWIFE!!   
  
Harry: I'm not......? _cries_   
  
Malfoy: awww.....that's ok _pats Harry on back___   
  
Harry: Wait! What if we get married!?   
  
Malfoy: YAY! GAY MARRIAGE!!!!!   
  
Harry: _wink_   
  
Malfoy: _wink_   
  
Harry: _wink_   
  
Malfoy: _wink_   
  
Ron:_wink_   
  
_Harry and Malfoy glare at Ron._   
  
Ron: ....sniff...   
  
_Hermione and Ginny return from the dead to join the celebration_   
  
_Malfoy screams_   
  
Ron: NOO!   
  
Hermione: I'm getting Chinese Fast Food for the celebration!   
  
Ron: You're forgiven.   
  
Harry: YAY! CHINESE!!   
  
Cho: I'm Chinese!   
  
Harry: Never mind   
  
Cho: Waaah!...hic.   
  
_author kills off Cho but then she would be with Cedric and Sirius so she sends her off to Romania so that Charlie can feed her to dragons._   
  
Cho: BYE!!!! _waves at everybody as she leaves_   
  
Harry, Ron, Malfoy, Hermione, Ginny: BON VOYAGE!!!! _blow kisses_   
  
_Fred and George appear_   
  
Hermione: I go get Chinese!   
  
Fred: _seductively_ Could you get some orange chicken with that, Hermione?   
  
Hermione: _blank___   
  
Fred:....Never mind...._grumbles_...At least I'm still the hotter spotlight!   
  
George: NO!NO!NO!...ok.   
  
(a/n: The last two lines were dedicated to you, Meghan! Everyone else can just smile knowingly)   
  
_Hermione runs off to get back. Malfoy screams_   
  
Hermione: _Holds corners of eyes up _LOOK! I GOT CHINESE! LOVE ME, HARRY!   
  
Harry: I WANT CHINESE FOOD!   
  
Malfoy: LISTEN TO MRS. MALFOY!   
  
Hermione:eek...ok _runs off_   
  
_Malfoy starts arguing with Harry_   
  
Malfoy: BUT I DON'T WANNA COOK! I WANNA BE THE FAT LAZY HUSBAND!!   
  
Ginny: You can be my fat lazy husband!!!   
  
Harry: no! he's mine! _glares at Ginny_   
  
Ginny: Waah! I wanna go home!! _runs back to The Gates._   
  
Harry: where were we? oh yeah _high pitched voice_ IF YOU DON'T COOK YOU CAN JUST STARVE!   
  
George: But Hermione's bringing Chinese! You don't have to cook!   
  
Malfoy: CAN'T A GUY PRACTICE GAY MARRIAGE IN PEACE? _bawls_   
  
Harry: YOU MADE HIM CRY! I KILL YOU!   
  
George: But Fred's the hotter spotlight!   
  
Harry: Oh...right, sorry. _kills Fred_   
  
George: WAAAH! luckily, I read Hermione's book about what to do in situations like this! _becomes Voldemort_   
  
Harry: But I can kill you!   
  
George: oh right..._makes like a suicidal teenager and dies_   
  
Malfoy: Oh fun!   
  
Pansy Parkinson: But I don't approve of Gay Marriage!   
  
Harry: _looks at Malfoy_   
  
Malfoy: _looks at Harry_   
  
Harry: _kills Pansy_   
  
Malfoy: YOU'RE A MURDERER! I WANT A DIVORCE!   
  
Harry: sniff..._kills himself_   
  
Malfoy: Oh great...Now I'm all alone!   
  
Ron: No, YOU'RE NOT! YOU GOT MEEEEEEE!   
  
Malfoy: Great _kills himself_ I'm coming to you, Harry!!!   
  
Ron: Now I'm all alone!   
  
Hermione: _comes back with Chinese_ Hey, where is everybody!?   
  
Ron: _kills himself_   
  
Hermione: Oh well, more Chinese for me! _sits down on floor and helps herself to some egg rolls_   
  
_Sirius, Cedric, Ginny, Malfoy, Harry, Fred, George, Pansy, and Ron start a game of Spin the Bottle at The Gates. Giggles can be heard_   
  
Hermione: I wanna play! _runs to The Gates._ wait for me guys! I got CHINEEEEEEEESE!   
  
_Everyone plays Spin The Bottle and eats Chinese_   
  
The End! 


End file.
